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Chủ đề: Funny stories

  1. #1
    Em vẫn như ngày xưa Avatar của cáo đeo nơ
    Tham gia ngày
    Nov 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định Funny stories

    Hi Friend
    I just want to give you a small gift which help you feel relax.
    I just remember ur willing to have a book of funny story
    Here it is
    I will send to you 2 stories a day. Ok?
    " How bussiness is done"
    Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son
    Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
    Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
    Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
    Son: Well, in that case..."
    Next Jack approaches Bill Gates
    Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter"
    Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
    Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
    Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case..."
    Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank
    Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as
    a vice-president."
    President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
    Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
    President: "Ah, in that case..."

    This is how business is done!!! :100:
    Mặc kệ cuộc đời, mặc nắng mưa
    Mặc kệ yêu thương, mặc dối lừa
    Mặc kệ tình ai, mặc tình tôi
    Mặc kệ vấn vương trói buộc đời
    Mặc kệ thị phi, mặc tiếng đời
    Mặc kệ danh lợi , mặc kệ vui
    Cứ buông tất cả vào trong gió
    Để chút lòng cười với thảnh thơi

  2. #2
    Em vẫn như ngày xưa Avatar của cáo đeo nơ
    Tham gia ngày
    Nov 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said,

    'I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.'

    Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof.

    'Now,' said his father, 'when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof.'

    'But, Dad,' said the boy, 'there's a huge drop!'

    'Do you want to succeed in business?'

    'Yes, Dad.'

    'And you trust me, don't you?'

    'Yes, Dad.'

    'So do as I say and jump.'

    The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him.

    That was your first lesson in business, son.

    Never trust anyone.'

  3. #3
    HUT's Master Avatar của nhanbachkhoa
    Tham gia ngày
    Dec 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    This man is too talent!!!

  4. #4
    Em vẫn như ngày xưa Avatar của cáo đeo nơ
    Tham gia ngày
    Nov 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    Who you are talking about, Nhan?
    Do all of you have a nice working day? And Are you good employee?
    Let's continue
    The Ten Commandments Of Employment

    If it rings, put it on hold.

    If it clunks, call the repairman.

    If it whistles, ignore it.

    If it's a friend, stop work and chat.

    If it's the boss, look busy.

    If it talks, take notes.

    If it's handwritten, type it.

    if it's typed, copy it.

    If it's copied, file it.

    If it's Friday, forget it!

  5. #5
    Em vẫn như ngày xưa Avatar của cáo đeo nơ
    Tham gia ngày
    Nov 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. Consequently, it wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed Somebody.
    ( Very nice one)

  6. #6
    HUT's Engineer Avatar của -Ash-
    Tham gia ngày
    Sep 2004
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
    (We take you now to the Oval Office)

    George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

    Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

    George: Great. Lay it on me.

    Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

    George: That's what I want to know.

    Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

    George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: I mean the fellow's name.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The guy in China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The new leader of China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The Chinaman!

    Condi: Hu is leading China.

    George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

    Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

    George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

    Condi: That's the man's name.

    George: That's who's name?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

    Condi: That's correct.

    George: Then who is in China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir is in China?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Then who is?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: No, thanks.

    Condi: You want Kofi?

    George: No.

    Condi: You don't want Kofi.

    George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

    Condi: And call who?

    George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

    Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

    George: Will you stay out of China?!

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi.

    George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

    (Condi picks up the phone.)

    Condi: Rice, here.

    George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
    True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable

  7. #7
    HUT's Master Avatar của nhanbachkhoa
    Tham gia ngày
    Dec 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    Months a go I heard this conversation in a joke on Bush, it was extremely interesting

  8. #8
    Em vẫn như ngày xưa Avatar của cáo đeo nơ
    Tham gia ngày
    Nov 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    Well, i seems forget this corner.
    A cold and rainy day it is. So sad...Just wanna sleeping
    "Wake up and do the work"
    "I feel sleepy"
    Let us to make a humour
    The Smoking Power Supply
    From an ex-field sales / support survivor:

    I used to work in a computer store and one day we had a gentleman call in with a smoking power supply. The service rep was having a bit of trouble convincing this guy that he had a hardware problem.

    Service Rep: Sir, something has burned within your power supply.

    Customer: I bet that there is some command that I can put into the AUTOEXEC.BAT that will take care of this.

    Service Rep: There is nothing that software can do to help you with this problem.

    Customer: I know that there is something that I can put in... some command... maybe it should go into the CONFIG.SYS.

    [After a few minutes of going round and round]

    Service Rep: Okay, I am not supposed to tell anyone this but there is a hidden command in some versions of DOS that you can use. I want you to edit your AUTOEXEC.BAT and add the last line as C:\DOS\NOSMOKE and reboot your computer.

    [Customer does this]

    Customer: It is still smoking.

    Service Rep: I guess you'll need to call Microsoft and ask them for a patch for the NOSMOKE.EXE.

    [The customer then hung up. We thought that we had heard the last of this guy but NO... he calls back four hours later]

    Service Rep: Hello Sir, how is your computer?

    Customer: I called Microsoft and they said that my power supply is incompatible with their NOSMOKE.EXE and that I need to get a new one. I was wondering when I can have that done and how much it will cost.. "
    Have a good day, dear friends

  9. #9
    Em vẫn như ngày xưa Avatar của cáo đeo nơ
    Tham gia ngày
    Nov 2003
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    Let's continue

    A driving school test
    The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school.

    Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
    A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

    Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
    A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

    Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
    A: Your car.

    Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
    A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

    Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
    A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

    Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
    A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

    Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
    A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute.

    Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
    A: The color.

    Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
    A: Heavy psychedelics.

    Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
    A: Carry loaded weapons.

    Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
    A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.

  10. #10
    svBK's Newbie
    Tham gia ngày
    Mar 2006
    Bài gửi

    Mặc định

    oh , the word is big and the people is so small!

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